If the idea of self-care feels like something invented by people with personal assistants and the last thing you have energy for. You're not alone.

As a stay-at-home working Mom to a 3 and 1 year old, trust me when I say; I understand how crazy busy life can get – with the days melting into each other like butter on warm toast.

While we’ve been bombarded with mental images of self-care as bubble baths on a Tuesday afternoon. And sold the idea that another $300 worth of skincare products on TikTok, is the “retail therapy” you need right now.

The truth is self-care goes deeper than that. And there are simple guilt-free ways to take care of yourself regardless of your schedule, or financial situation.

So what really is self-care?

Let me break it down;

• Self-care is the intentional act of recharging your own batteries before it dies

• It’s deliberately doing what keeps you healthy, strong and sane without waiting for permission.

• Self-care is choosing your well-being over your excuses, because why the hell not?

• It’s treating yourself with the same kindness and consideration like you would a best friend.

• Self-care is everything you do on purpose to stay physically, mentally and emotionally well.

Correct me if I’m wrong but, I’m struggling to see how purchasing $300 worth of skincare products from TikTok keeps anyone healthy, strong and sane. Get it?

If you’re ready for some real, no BS self-care, here’s my 5 fool proof, therapy driven tips that have helped me find the time to indulge in self-care that actually works, no bubble baths or extra expenses included.

1. It’s all about that sunlight

Natural sunlight on your skin, will do you more good than whatever influencers are selling this week. Seriously this is the ultimate self-care in my opinion because it’s free-mium and feels so good.

I know it’s easy to get lost in the indoors of home, office, car, supermarket; barely catching some actual sunlight (especially in winter with Vit. D tablets to the rescue).

But time outside when the sun is out should become a non-negotiable habit.

Do you even know what this big bright ball in the sky does for you? Besides the obvious Vit. D intake to enhance calcium absorption by bones/muscles and boosting serotonin to make you ‘feel good’ almost instantly.

Sunlight also lowers blood pressure, improves heart health, circadian alignment for better sleep, triggers natural pain relievers called beta-endorphins, treats skin conditions. The list goes on and on.

It’s no wonder doctors from the 1800s up until the 1950s relied heavily on sunlight exposure aka heliotherapy to treat patients.

As an introvert, I have no issues becoming a couch potato, but having kids has forced me to schedule daily outings to the park. The sunlight exposure and being in the nature has worked wonders for my mental health and I notice how much lighter and refreshed I feel afterwards.

Being outside in the sun has become an essential part of my self-care ritual especially because – I don’t have to schedule this seperately, also it’s FOC.

Find a way that works for you and your unique situation.

It’s all about that sunlight!

2. Your space needs some space

It’s time to ‘RE-everything’ your space! No, I don’t mean binge scrolling through Amazon at 2am looking for yet another thing you ‘really need’ to make your space feel like you.

I mean taking a step back to really see all the stuff you already have, how your space is organized and asking yourself – “What can I Release, Reorganize, Redecorate and Reset to create some mental breathing space?”

Maybe it’s all the clothes you haven’t worn since you stopped dressing for others, or the receipts, papers, unread books – just lying around collecting dust. Or even the weird angle of your bed and how it makes your bedroom feel smaller.

Throw it out! Gift it! Donate it! Re-arrange it! Declutter, redecorate, reset, reduce the noise. It’s okay to let it go and make room.

I kid you not, this will trigger a sense of liberation, lower those pesky cortisol levels, reduce anxiety, mental fatigue, irritability and boost your self-esteem – making your mind feel more capable and in control.

Your space needs some space.

3. Drink water (a lot of it)

I don’t need a medical degree to prescribe drinking plenty of water throughout the day – as a sure-fire way to mental clarity and truly taking care of yourself.

Because the brain is 80% water, drinking enough sharpens your focus, reduces headaches and anxiety, boosts metabolism, aids waste removal, detoxing, minimizing mood swings, boosts energy levels amongst other awesome things.

After searching for a while, I found a 2L glass bottle (typically used for “Rakija” in the Balkans), that I use to chug water throughout the day. It looks ridiculous but when it’s empty, I know I’ve reached my daily intake for my weight. Makes things more measurable and achievable.

Start noticing your water drinking habits and make a conscious effort to drink more.

When you feel like drinking another cup of coffee, grab a glass of water instead. Small steps daily = giant leaps long term.

Drink water (a lot of it)

4. Include music in your daily routine.

Music is healing and I can’t stress this enough.

On days when I feel meh, my go to for an instant pick me up is my curated playlists, which sets the tone for my day and boosts my mood.

Smooth jazz with breakfast, Afrobeats with chores, slow indie’s for self-reflection, electronic music for dance party fun with the kids etc. It gets the job done.

For a fact, research has shown that music profoundly affects the mind by activating almost every area of the brain responsible for emotions, memory and motor control. It triggers instant dopamine release to improve mood, reducing stress, anxiety and pain. Wow!

Of course, everyone has their unique taste in music, so find what you like and curate a playlist (or 2) that help you relax, be present, get creative and maybe even burst a few dance moves to let go of all that tension.

Try Calm & Courage if you’re looking for some fresh and healing music. Maybe you’ll find something worth saving.

5. Media Detox Now!

A media detox is like taking a poop for the mind. Seriously, you need to make a conscious effort to get rid of all the waste and tangled up thoughts from consuming way too much information, distractions and endless stimulation.

In the last few months, I’ve been researching non-toxic/clean alternatives for skincare, clothing etc. The sheer amount of information I’ve found about the poisons in everyday life, and the endless suggested content by the algorithms, has stressed me out so much.

I started taking a break for a few days to weeks in between just to stay sane. This has helped me quench that feeling of urgency to immediately live off grid and raise my own cows by 16:00 tomorrow.

It’s not just social media apps like Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, or TikTok, its especially, news apps, gossip blogs, dramatic WhatsApp groups, degenerative music, anxiety increasing podcasts, doom and gloom books. The whole lot of them.

Basically, anything that feeds your mind needs to be carefully curated, and strategically consumed if you want to truly take care of yourself – for your health’s sake.

Media Detox Now!

Bonus: Be Careful What You Say to Yourself

Cue the self-bashing when you don’t achieve your weight loss goals, or the mean self-commentary when you end up scrolling until 1am again on a weekday. We're constantly in communication with ourselves and our body.

Words are potent tools that shape our reality and in a study about the neuroscience behind words, scientists have proven that negative words whether spoken, heard or thought, release stress and anxiety inducing hormones.

Inversely, positive and optimistic words in your mind stimulate frontal lobe activity which is responsible for moving you into action.

The longer you focus on positive words, the more you affect other areas of your brain. So if you’re constantly criticizing yourself on a daily basis, guess what happens to your reality?

Be careful what you say to yourself.

[Try the self-monitoring workbook to help you track your inner dialogue and grow in self awareness]

Did I miss something? What else could you add to the list that works wonders for you?

Bottom Line

If you made it this far in this post, you’ll see that there’s no ground breaking ideas here, just everything you already know but have somehow forgotten.

Like a computer, our mind and body works by a garbage in, garbage out system. The quality of your input for your mind, body and soul will directly determine the quality of the output.

And for optimal self-care, you have to choose differently everyday – ignoring all the excuses your mind tries to tell you because it’s addicted to comfort.

Of course, there are a million other ways to care for yourself in ways that build you up like;

prioritizing simple ingredients and real food, walking, setting healthy boundaries, journaling, intermittent fasting, detoxing protocols, dressing up in your favorites, talking to a therapist, exercising, spending time with loved ones and so on.

But for now, I remind you to go outside and soak in some sunlight, give your space some space, drink water (a lot of it), let the music heal your soul, start a media detox now, be careful what you say to yourself and watch what happens next.

Self-care is everything you do on purpose to stay physically, mentally and emotionally well.

I dare you to take care of yourself!

Self-improvement enthusiast, CBT therapist, with 4 years of experience helping people prioritize their mental health and reclaim their lives. Basilia uses her proven system for retraining the mind, offering practical tools that help people become the version of themselves they need to joyfully thrive, not just survive. It's okay to lean on me.

Basilia Frankel

Good Old Therapy I CBT

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