Taking care of your mental health is just as important as hitting the gym 3 times a week, or choosing healthy salads over the typical greasy fries and soda. Yet, many people struggle to know where to start or how to create a mental health plan that genuinely supports their emotional and psychological needs. That’s where therapy-informed strategies can make a difference.

As a cognitive behavioral therapist specializing in helping individuals build resilience, manage stress, and create healthier habits to improve overall mental wellness. I believe this post will give you the much needed insight you've been craving for a while now.

In this article, we’ll explore the top 7 things you can do for your mental health, guided by insights from my experience as a therapist. These actionable tips are designed to help you reduce anxiety, boost your mood, and cultivate long-term emotional well-being. Whether you’re currently in therapy or seeking practical, no BS steps to support your mental health, these strategies will empower you to take control of your mental wellness and thrive.

Read on to discover how small changes can lead to significant improvements in your life.

1. Stop caring so damn much!

Newsflash! Nobody is thinking about you.

Think about how preoccupied you are with your own problems; your opinionated micro-managing manager, the mental load of what to make for dinner yet again, showing up on time for your kids recital, making time for a social life. blah blah blah... that's exactly how everyone else is consumed by their own problems. Clearly, no one is thinking about you, or obsessing over the embarrassing comment you made 3 years ago.

While caring about what others think is natural—humans are wired for connection and approval, when the fear of being judged by others dominates your thoughts, it can kick your confidence, authenticity and especially drive you nuts. To stop caring so much about others opinions, start by reframing how you view external validation. Realize that people will often make comments to justify their own decisions to themselves and project their shortcomings, or a lack thereof unto others. Remind yourself that everyone’s opinions are shaped by their own experiences, biases, and insecurities, and they often reflect more about them than about you. Stop taking it seriously.

Focus on your values instead. Ask yourself: What truly matters to me? When your actions align with your core beliefs, external criticism/commentary becomes as useless as the g in lasagna. Practice self-compassion to build inner confidence, replacing harsh self-talk with supportive affirmations like "I'm doing the best I can and that is enough".

Finally, remember, no one is watching you as closely as you think. Most people are too busy with their own rollercoaster ride to dwell on yours. Freeing yourself from this worry empowers you to do whatever you want and enjoy life on your terms. No apologies necessary!

2. Prioritize yourself and your well-being

Being 'nice' is for suckers!

As a recovering people pleaser, I can testify to the damage not prioritizing yourself can do to your mental health and overall sense of self. From burnout to stress and even stacked resentment, putting the needs of others before your own and neglecting your self care, can quickly become a messy situation with the jokes on you.

In my therapy practice, I've seen that this issue often boils down to boundary problems with ourselves and others. With ourselves, it's where we can't find the will power to say no to yet another episode of the Lincoln lawyer, or keep procrastinating the important stuff like checking on family. With others, it's where we say yes to a socially draining event when we desperately want to say no, or go above and beyond for people who never reciprocate just because we're being 'nice'.

If you want a balanced, fulfilling life, YOU and your needs must come first because you cannot give from an empty cup. This means you need to stop being 'just nice' and set boundaries with kindness, because nice people get used. By dedicating time to yourself, you’re not only nurturing your own mental and physical health but also building the resilience needed to support others.

To start prioritizing yourself, establish healthy boundaries. Practice saying "no" to requests that overwhelm you or don’t align with your values. Scheduling regular self-care—whether through exercise, hobbies, or rest—ensures you have time to recharge and recenter. To keep track of your emotional state and unmet needs, try checking in with yourself daily by journaling, meditating or simply asking yourself "what do I need right now?"

Remember, prioritizing your well-being is a way of honoring yourself, not a selfish act that you need to feel guilty for. When you care for yourself fully, you bring your best self into all areas of your life, benefiting both you and those around you.

My free ebook Boundaries 101 will help you make NO your word of the year!

3. Consider ditching social media for good

You need to delete your Instagram!

In today’s world, social media can feel like a double-edged sword. While it connects us to loved ones and offers ever flowing entertainment, it often leaves us feeling drained, overwhelmed, or inadequate.

Like cigarettes, social media platforms have become the gateway drug to comparison, attention seeking, escapism, endless need for external validation, amplifying feelings of FOMO where you feel like everyone else is having a blast while you're stuck in your boring life. The constant scrolling has become a major culprit for an increase in anxiety, overstimulation, sensitivity to triggers, overthinking, ruminating, sleep disruptions, stealing time from more meaningful activities - which wreak havoc on our mental health.

With Netflix shows like The Social Dilemma, by now many of us are aware that these social media apps know us better than we know ourselves and are designed to get us hooked; like a bird in a cage with the door open but can't go free. Bearing this in mind, it sounds like a no brainer to have a strategy to protect our mental space from the enemy aka social media. This can help us focus on our goals, well-being and appreciate where we are in our journey, instead of trying to live up to the unrealistic, curated standards of random strangers.

This is why taking a break—or stepping away entirely— from social media can have transformative benefits for your mental health. By choosing to step away, you create space for deeper in-person connections by being present, hobbies that feed your soul. You make time for genuine self-reflection where you feel your emotions, process things and cry it out, instead of the usual scrolling to numb the pain or escape - which only cause our problems to fester like a bad wound.

To start, try a detox by scrolling with intention; noticing how the accounts you follow, or the suggestions you get affect your emotions. Take it a step further by using an app like Opal to limit your social media use to an hour a day or deleting apps for a set period. Pay attention to how you feel when you're disconnected from the virtual world—many notice reduced stress, improved focus, and better self-esteem and discipline.

As someone who took a 15 month break from social media, I can confirm that life without social media can be freeing and feels like heaven, allowing you be actively present in your life, prioritizing what truly brings joy and peace. Sometimes, less screen time means more living.

4. Start taking responsibility for yourself

Age is not a sign of maturity, your ability to take responsibility is.

If you have someone in your life who is always blaming everyone else for their choices/actions, never says 'I'm sorry' or 'I made a mistake', then you know firsthand how immature it is to not hold yourself accountable. Taking responsibility for yourself is the main ingredient for personal growth and mental well-being. It means acknowledging that while you can’t control everything in life, you can control how you respond to challenges, make decisions and care for your needs.

It's accepting that you're 100% responsible for yourself, you're your own burden to carry and nobody else's. Taking responsibility for yourself doesn't mean you never ask for help when you need it, or show some level of responsibility towards others; like calling out your friends drinking problem. It just means that you're not waiting around for a knight in shining armor to save you, you get busy saving yourself so you can support others too. This shift in mindset is empowering and can lead to greater confidence and fulfillment.

Start by reflecting on areas where you may be avoiding accountability. Are there habits, decisions, or relationships where you blame others or circumstances? Instead of focusing on external factors, ask yourself: What actions can I take to improve this situation for myself? Taking small, consistent steps can help you regain control over your life.

Cultivate self-awareness by checking in with your emotions and behaviors. Journaling, mindfulness practices, or listening to constructive feedback can help you recognize patterns and make intentional changes. Remember, taking responsibility doesn’t mean perfection—it’s about owning your journey and making choices that align with your values and goals. Growth starts with you.

5. Invest in your relationships

"Connection is the answer. Connection with your body, your heart and soul, your tribe, the planet, the Divine. It's all about connection" - Donna Lancaster

Healthy relationships are the ying to the yang of mental well-being. Whether with friends, family, or romantic partners, meaningful connections can make the pieces of your life feel whole. It provides emotional support, reduces stress and fosters a sense of belonging to a tribe of people who always want the best for you; despite your odd habits and late replies to their messages. Investing in your relationships is about nurturing these bonds, creating trust, and ensuring they bring joy and balance to your life - not stress and drama.

Strong relationships don’t just happen—they require time, effort, and care. Here’s why it’s worth the investment:

1. Emotional Support: Trusted relationships provide a safe space to express feelings and seek comfort during challenges. When life happens, the warmth from healthy relationships can make all the difference. A problem shared is half solved right?

2. Improved Mental Health: Positive connections lower rates of anxiety, depression, and loneliness. At times when the world seems like it's crashing down on you, having a support system to rely on can remind you that you’re not alone, help you process things faster and work towards healing. Even when things are going great, these bonds remind you that you have a lot to be grateful for.

3. Personal Growth: There's parts of ourselves that we're blind to and only other people in our lives can see them. Like how you didn’t realize you tend to stutter when you’re nervous, until your best friend pointed it out to you. Through meaningful interactions, you can learn about yourself and grow emotionally.

To invest in your relationships:

1. Be Present: Except you’re connecting through via facetime, put your phone down and give the people in your life your full attention. The gift of presence, active listening and genuine conversation shows you value their thoughts and feelings.

2. Communicate Openly: What’s the point of any relationship if there’s no honest, open communication based on mutual respect? Sharing your thoughts honestly with kindness, especially during tough conversations deepens your connection and encourages the other person to do the same. Healthy communication builds trust.

3. Show Appreciation: Express gratitude regularly, whether through words, acts of kindness, or small gestures like showing up with their favorite Magnum double sunlover ice-cream when you visit. Let people know you value them.

4. Set Boundaries: Any healthy relationship is founded on a mutual respect for personal limits, creating a balance that works for both parties. Say no and be willing to accept a no when you hear it, without making the person into the villain.

5. Prioritize Quality Time: Yes, you’re super busy and procrastination has become a habit you need to kick. Still make time to schedule regular check-ins or activities that strengthen your bond with the people in your circle.

Investing in relationships doesn’t mean ignoring your needs; it’s about creating mutual support. When you nurture your connections, you cultivate a network that uplifts and inspires you through the different phases of your life. Strong relationships are a two-way street, where both giving and receiving help you thrive. By prioritizing your relationships, you not only enhance your mental health but also build a life filled with meaningful connections and lasting happiness. YAY!

6. Schedule time to de-stress and recharge

With endless emails to respond to and a society constantly screaming at you to go! go! go! Stress can feel like an unavoidable part of life. But when stress builds up without relief, it can lead to burnout, decreased productivity and mental health challenges like increased anxiety, depression or binge cycles. You see, scheduling regular time to destress and recharge isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity for your overall well-being.

When you prioritize time to unwind, you allow your mind and body to recover from daily pressures so you can show up as your best self in every area of your life. This helps reduce cortisol levels (the stress hormone), improve focus, and boosts your mood. Regular breaks also foster creativity and problem-solving, making you more effective in both personal and professional roles.

To incorporate de-stressing into your routine, start by identifying activities that help you relax, like meditating, listening to your favorite Odie album, reading an actual hardcover book, taking a walk in the park, or engaging in hobbies. Schedule these moments just as you would a work meeting or appointment, ensuring they don’t get pushed aside.

Remember, recharging doesn’t mean you’re neglecting responsibilities—it’s about building the resilience you need to handle your obligations effectively. By dedicating time to rest and reset, you’re investing in your health, happiness, and long-term success.

7. Start therapy

Your mental health matters!

I can’t believe a lot of people still think you have to be ‘coo coo’ to seek therapy, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Life comes with its truckload of challenges and while it’s normal to navigate ups and downs, therapy offers a safe space. To express yourself without fear of judgement or projection, to understand yourself, process emotions and learn healthy coping skills to overcome obstacles as they pop up back to back.

Call me biased but I think everyone needs therapy (even therapists need a therapist) and starting therapy is one of the most empowering steps you can take for your mental well-being. It’s not about being “broken” or needing to be “fixed”—it’s about growing, healing, and thriving.

Therapy helps you connects the dots and uncover patterns that may be holding you back; whether it’s negative self-talk, unresolved trauma, or difficulty managing stress. With the guidance of a trained professional, you can clarity tangled thoughts, grow in self-awareness and build healthier coping strategies.

Investing in therapy is an act of self-care and self-love. It’s a commitment to your mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Whether you’re facing a specific issue or simply want to understand yourself better, therapy is a transformative step toward a stronger, more resilient you and it’s okay to lean on me. The goal is not to be in therapy forever, but to build the resilience to handle life on your own, while having someone who can hold you accountable.

Bonus: Manage your expectations

When you expect your partner of 5 years to remember the anniversary of your first date, make a grand gesture and you intentionally don’t remind them (even though you’re aware they’re overworked and forgetful); this can lead to some serious disappointment – which is typical of most expectations.

For your sanity and mental health, managing your expectations is non-negotiable and is a major requirement for not taking things personal. Unrealistic expectations—whether for yourself, others, or situations—can lead to frustration, disappointment, and unnecessary stress that’s mostly in your head. Instead, focus on what you can control by setting realistic, flexible goals that align with your current capacity and circumstances.

Start by reflecting on whether your expectations are rooted in perfectionism, comparison or a weak attempt at trying to predict the future. Ask yourself, Is this realistic? Does it align with what truly matters to me? Am I building pyramids in my head? Is this expectation within my control?

Give yourself permission to adjust expectations as needed, focusing on your progress rather than outcomes. By managing your expectations, you create space for self-compassion, patience, and a more balanced perspective on life’s challenges, because life often happens in ways you can’t expect.

Your next read