We’ve all been there. You tell yourself you’ll start next week. You promise that once things calm down, once you feel more motivated, once the timing is right—you’ll finally do the thing you’ve been putting off. And yet… somehow, that day never comes.

Maybe you're calling it “waiting,” “preparing,” or “needing a break,” and sometimes those are absolutely valid. But other times? They’re just dressed-up excuses aka subtle forms of self-sabotage, that quietly keep you from showing up for the life you want.

This doesn’t mean you’re lazy, undisciplined, or broken. It means you're human.

The truth is, our minds are incredibly skilled at rationalizing why it’s okay not to try, not to risk, not to change because we’re wired to seek comfort. But while those justifications may feel ‘comforting’ in the moment, they often leave us feeling stuck, frustrated, and further away from our goals – without us realizing it.

With this post, I’m gently calling out this excuses-based mindset (with kindness), to help you recognize the difference between real rest and chronic avoidance. To show you how excuses may be holding you back more than you realize, and to remind you that you can choose differently—without shame or pressure.

Let’s take a closer look at how excuses sneak in, how they impact your mental clarity, progress and what you can do to break free from the cycle—with self compassion and confidence.

You ready? Let’s begin.

When justifying is valid… and when it’s not

Let’s clear the air: not all justification is bad. Sometimes, it’s necessary and healthy.

For example, needing to rest after a long week of emotional stress or physical labor is not an excuse—it’s self-care. Turning down a social event because you feel overwhelmed isn’t laziness—it’s setting a boundary. These are moments of being in tune with your needs.

But there’s a fine line between listening to your needs and using those needs to hide from action.

Here’s what excuse-making sounds like:

“I’ll start working out when I have more time.”

“I can’t start that project until everything’s perfect.”

“I’m just not ready yet.”

At face value, these seem logical right? But when you start hearing them often—when they become your default response—they’re no longer valid reasons but they become roadblocks you’ve built yourself.

How excuses affect your progress

Excuses might seem harmless, but they can create deep patterns of avoidance and inaction. The more you justify not doing something, the easier it becomes to stay stuck in place.

Over time, this can lead to:

• Missed opportunities

• Low self-trust

• Diminished motivation

• A cycle of starting and stopping

• Frustration and guilt

Let’s say you keep putting off applying for a new job. You tell yourself it’s because you need to fix your résumé or wait for the “right” job posting. Weeks pass. Nothing happens. You start to feel stuck, maybe even like a failure—but in truth, the only thing stopping you is you.

Signs you might be making excuses (without realizing it)

Sometimes, self-sabotage hides behind good intentions. Here are a few signs you might be unknowingly getting in your own way:

You overexplain why you “can’t” do something.

You give a detailed backstory every time someone asks why you haven’t started that thing you said you wanted to do.

You wait for the perfect time.

You’re always preparing but never launching.

You tell yourself you’re not “that type of person”, turning your excuse into a part of your identity

(e.g., “I’m not someone who wakes up early” or “I’m not a consistent person.”)

You overcommit to avoid facing your goals.

You’re “too busy” but somehow still avoid what really matters to you.

You rely heavily on mood or motivation.

“I’ll do it when I feel like it” is a trap. Motivation is unreliable—systems are not.

How to break free from the cycle

Here’s where it gets empowering: If by now you know for a fact that your inaction in whatever area of your life is due to your excuses, you can shift this pattern. It just takes small, consistent changes that starts with:

1. Self awareness. Call yourself out with kindness.

Start noticing your go-to justifications. When you hear one pop up, ask:

“Is this really true, or am I avoiding something uncomfortable?” Try to dig deeper to realize what you need.

2. Take one micro-action.

You don’t need to conquer everything in one day. Just start. If the gym feels overwhelming, go for a 10-minute walk, 4 days a week. If launching your project feels scary, open a blank document and name it. One step is all it takes to build momentum.

3. Quantify your days.

Instead of focusing on what you didn’t do, track how many small, positive actions you did take. Did you drink water? Or take a break instead of doom-scrolling? Or text a friend? These wins count—and they add up.

4. Build self-trust with consistency, not perfection.

Progress isn’t about flawless execution. It’s about showing up even when you don’t feel like it. The more you show up for yourself and do the things you say you will do, regardless of the outcome, the more your self trust goes up in value.

5. Use your energy wisely.

You may not realize this but constant excuses and justification drains your energy. Action—no matter how small—is like a fast charge for your energy levels.

What happens when you stop justifying and start living

When you stop letting excuses lead your life, something beautiful happens: you start building self-trust and you begin to:

• Believe in your ability to follow through

• See real progress

• Gain momentum and clarity

• Feel lighter emotionally because you’re no longer carrying around guilt or avoidance

• Open up space for things that genuinely matter to you

You don’t have to be perfect or have it all figured out. You just have to be honest with yourself, first and foremost.

Rounding up

You are not lazy, weak, or broken. If you’ve been stuck in a cycle of making excuses or justifying your inaction, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It means you’re human.

But you also have the power to choose differently.

You don’t need a massive overhaul. You just need to start. Start where you are, with what you have. Even if it’s messy or small or scary, just start! Because life isn’t waiting for the perfect version of you to show up—it’s happening right now and you deserve to be in it. Fully.

Let today be the day you stop accepting your own excuses and start building a life that feels like yours again.

You’ve got this and I'm rooting for you.

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